I know this post is not like the majority of posts I have shared and that is why it is so important. In order for me to continue in an authentic way I need to not only share the light but also the dark because that is what is real.
This picture of me is very different than my profile picture. I post this because I don't want anyone to ever think that because I work as a coach and post inspirational stuff that I don't struggle.
One of the biggest reasons I am committed to being positive is because it helps me stay aligned and focused especially on my hardest days. What I share reminds me of what matters, keeps me motivated and helps me on the days I want to give up.
I suffer from chronic pain. It is my life. It is real and it is hard. I took this picture because this is what a 12+ hour debilitating migraine is, everything stops. The physical pain is only a small part because I shy away from talking about the depression, anxiety and fatigue that comes with dealing with pain most every day for the last 20+ years. I rarely talk about the daily impact years of pain has had on my body, my mind and my ability to participate fully in life. This part of my life is as real and as important as every other aspect of my life.
In the picture, I am holding my head because it helps me focus. I am telling myself over and over that I will be ok and it will ease up eventually. I am telling myself that I am grateful for being alive and that I am breathing. It isn't easy to be grateful in the woes of pain but I have learned that gratitude keeps me calm and stops me from going to darker places.
"I am still breathing, my heart is beating, take it one breath at a time. You will be ok." I whisper to myself through the agony and tears.
We all have something in this life we struggle with. I wanted to share this with you because I don't want you to think my life is somehow easier because of the work I do. I am committed to my passion of writing, coaching and teaching so that we can move through the highs and lows of life with love, grace, peace and presence, TOGETHER. I share this because I know life can be tough as much as it is amazing. I share this because struggle with mental illness can be triggered by so many factors and there is no shame in asking for help. I did.
We can allow and appreciate the lows in the same way we welcome the highs.
I will never give up, EVER, and I hope you don't either. This image reminds me of how strong I really am. You are stronger than you think, don't ever forget that.